dearest-U

1st day raye o9

2009-09-21T01:12:00.003+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA WORLD!!!
this yr raya is very different.
1st tym didn't go to Geylang with dad.
cousin Umar and Raihann stayed over.
end up spring cleaning and played rock band.
didn't go prayers as i was too tired.
woke up early reach early at granny's.
Johann and i went to fair price.
without atok everything seems so different.
and without nek mok we had lesser house to go to.
end up mom side including nenek's, 2hs.

off to Bukit Batok.

nenek juju didn't cook much.
eat satay twice.
was too tired and slp.
dad side including nenek's, 4hs.
the last 2 hs was a must to eat.
esp the prawns at cik shida.
yummy!
eat 3ice. :D
n i love her daughter, Sarah so friendly.

didn't took much pic.
was too tired n too lazy.
1st tym we reach home at 11.
i miss reaching hm at 1.
some how i have a feeling i wont be raya-ing much.
and bf will be too busy with work anyways.

without atok, raya don feels the same.
i miss atok.

ur the one.

2009-09-01T06:04:00.000+08:00

at 1st it seems lyk noise now im hook to dis song thanks to sis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNr8YSXrBJ8

it was nothing but a quick think
kids games, kiss chase, just a quick fling
now im hoping you never go missing
now im telling you, you can hold this ring, watch how it glistens
it was done as quick as the wind blows
didnt think i would ever be involved
so i even wrote a song called dont go
now its just you and me on a love row
Dappy like dino us two tip toes duck dive get low
and now i care less about who knows
now were deep in way past intro dappy explain yo
[BRIDGE][DAPPY]
see never did i think a boy like me would be in need
when all i really wanted was to have some fun
now im losing my head, im telling you one thing
youre number one
[CHORUS]
see i dont understand how youre number one
when it was just a fling before now, youre the one
see all i did was blink twice, from my homie to my only
number one
ah uh uh oh
ah uh uh oh
ah uh uh oh
ah uh uh oh
[TINCHY]
yo
it was all now never planned no after
it was like games jokes laughter
live for the moment, left it all open
now im in deep, flames, lava, breathe, karma
and now im stating, see i never saw this in my daydream
its really you that im fully rating
and the days here no more waiting
pay it all wise to the smart man raised him
i was so hurt, pain, aching
on the wrong path then a good girl saved him
thats why im letting her know shes amazing
[BRIDGE][DAPPY]
see never did i think a boy like me would be in need
when all i really wanted was to have some fun
now im losing my head, im telling you one thing
youre number one
[CHORUS]
see i dont understand how youre number one
when it was just a fling before now, youre the one
see all i did was blink twice from my homie to my only
number one
you lift me off the ground
i always want you around
i aint gunna let nothing get in the way
ill never let nothing get in the way
you lift me off the ground
i always want you around
i aint gunna let nothing get in the way
ill never let nothing get in the way
[TINCHY]
yo, i aint never gunna let nothing get in the way
you play your cards all right youre on As
you make my nights so bright youre my days
you took me out of the maze
you are number one
[CHORUS][DAPPY]
see i dont understand how youre number one
when it was just a fling before now, youre the one
see all i did was blink twice from my homie to my only
number one
you lift me off the ground
i always want you around
i aint gunna let nothing get in the way
ill never let nothing get in the way
you lift me off the ground
i always want you around
i aint gunna let nothing get in the way
ill never let nothing get in the way
[OUTRO][TINCHY]
youre number one youre in the race youre a leader
girl youre out of this world i cant see ya
and now you got a place in my heart
its funny how you actually went
from my homie to my only
number one

HANNAH MONTANA!!

2009-06-09T03:33:00.006+08:00

i noe not a lot of ppl lyk her but i do. watched all her show. hah. me n bf caught de movie on de 6.love the part she sing, fight wit Tyra. love de evil women frm ugly Betty. love de place so pretty. love rico but his only at 1 part of de show.*sob* oh n i love lily pretty. i love everything bout it but de ending. its not as dramatic as i expected. overall its quite ok not smthing u will remember. i will give de show a 3 out of 5.

fandy n wendy

2009-06-01T15:27:00.013+08:00

SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU FANDY DAN WENDY!!!

pics frm hanisah hp.

Abg fandy n my cousin in law wendy.

every thing was perfect except for de hot2 weather. i swear i culd finish a jug. i must say de food was de best. ders everything. bryani, sushi, soto, roti kirai, cakes, n not to forget steak. yummy!!

ders de kompang n kude kepang. love de silat frm our family memebers esp sufian's. i think abd fandy almost cry.

mom invited nisa as she need to pics for her project. had such a great tym wit her. she blended in very well. family of boyan. haha. we played wit de kids. camwhore n eat de cousins. don really lyk taking pic but how can i say no to nur hanisah.

n i hate adam! de kid tt threaten me. stupid.

2009-05-29T02:53:00.002+08:00

i cant slp. took a panadol n still awake but feel light headed. i think i need to stop having aftnoon naps. will b having skol frm 12 to 6.30. bet its gona b filled wit his stories n not bout his lessons. boring...

during de holidays i plan not to touch de comp at all. so i can concentrate on other stuff den playing facebook, reading blogs n watching video. no more comp for me. more go out, visit granny, exercise n meeting my frens . may b once in a while update blog n such. frm now till oct i need to save lots n lots of money. need to cut down on outside food, movies n cabs. which mean less tym gg out at nite.

i wan a lop ear bunny!

2009-05-28T04:04:00.002+08:00

i hav always wanted a bunny. but always gotten a hamster. catnap kittens. n played wit de neighbor's dog. mai had rabbit but i don lyk rabbit. i wan lop ear bunny!! mayb wen i hav my own hs den ill adopt a lop ear bunny n a dwarf hamster. if only i can get a dog.

movies!!!

.

watched night at the museum and angels & demon wit bf. both is a must watch. a&d keeps u at de edge of u seat. so many twist n turn. u wont know the really angel or demon is. or who de pope might b. must must watch trust me. as for night at the museum its so funny n kiut. cant stop laughing. esp wen de small 1 fight lyk 300. n i love de bad guys.

submission date is so close. 29 for elt n 5 for pbm. sorry kak for using ur lappy. need to find de reports in de lappy. wont wan to print 5 books. such a waste of money. but i still had to print 1. damn. really need to get it done asap. will take a break on de sun. abg fandy's wedding n will meet nisa der. miss miss her.

on skol holidays i wan to make sure i jog at least 2ice a week. muscles has turn to fats. even im disgusted wit myself. nisa i tell u im fat.

2009-05-18T04:24:00.004+08:00

SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU UMMI KALSUM DAN ARY BA!!
i don remember ary's name. we were trying to figue it out till we saw de wedding cake. hahaha. on de 16, kak mi n ary nikah gantung. so der will b a bigger wedding next yr. we hope. but im glad kak mi is de 1st cucu to get married. im glad ary is in de family now. da tk perlu duduk kat ujung blk. u both make a gd couple. lyk dey say opposite attract. i noe tt datok is definitely happy. b4 he passed he did alot of preparation for kak mi wedding. i still miss him. n i love de kueh tart he ordered. but nenek's is nicer. cant wait for raye!

web cam wit mai n mira a few days ago. look at mira kiut face. we played bingo n mai won. haha. i think dey cheated. i shud hav won. hahaha. its been along tym since we did smthing lyk dis.

look at de tym. i cant slp. thinking of him. feeling hungry as usual. i miss him. wat will happen dis tym? only god noes.

-not as obsess wit ellen as b4, jus pink.
-really need to find tym for jogging.

If you love somebody, Set them free!

2009-05-12T10:48:00.005+08:00

i jus donoe wat is wrong wit de conversation i hav wit mai 2yrs baq. weird. but u made ur choice lets not make things worst den it already is. lyk i say dey r jus frens. guess u jus read too deeply into de line wen ders actually nothing der. de reason i keep it is coz wat mai say made me cry. i guess u water jus dry up cant even fight. ill see u dis thu n if ders no other complication i wan thu to de last tym i see u. i wish u well n i hope u hav speedy recovery.

life is nvr fair. i giv u my everything, u give me nothing. i was urs but u nvr was n nvr will b mine.
now u can stop regretting n see if de 2 of u r suitable for each other. all de best. i giv u may blessing. dis tym round i wont interfere.

IM BAQ!!!!!!!

2009-05-11T01:47:00.001+08:00

wen to port dickson for mother's day.
had a great tym wit de family der.
made a few frens der.
had 5 celebrity der.
took quite a number of pics.
all will b updated on de next post.

melt melt

2009-05-07T02:37:00.003+08:00

watched x-men yesterday wit bf. i think hugh jackman is so hot. get to see him butt naked. on big screen sm more. hehehe. chikopek sia. its a must watch. coz get to see him naked. hahahaha. bf sure will kill me wen he see dis. hahahaha.

today i didnt go skol for de 1st tym dis sem. wah so wasted. yet to finish 2 project. which is 0% done. i shud start but no motivation. so hate doin project.

tmrw will b at sgh early2 iin de morning.

2009-05-05T03:04:00.002+08:00

don really noe wat to blog.
slpt at granny den shahrir now hm.
but each nite ill b awake lyk an owl.
hate de eye bags.

cant wait for mother's day. had a different plan. which is to stay in Singapore to celebrate it wit granny. love love her. but i guess my family hav been spending too much tym wit mom's side of de family. i guess dad side is jealous too. haha. so mother's day dis yr will b at port dickson. dis yrs present need to cut cost abit. still thinking of a present for mom, aunties n granny. hmmm. any suggestions?

my next move

2009-05-03T05:26:00.005+08:00

TO DO LIST:-
-get a job.ASAP
-car license.b4 next yr.
-finish assignment.must make sure get an 'a'
-finish skol.wit perfect score
-save for holiday.bb folllow mw can?
-save for future.for rainy days.
-get my own apartment.dis i cant wait.

save her soul!!

2009-05-02T03:23:00.005+08:00

close to 1 mth, ive been tolerating u.u sicken me.
once again let me say tt i believe every thing happens for a reason.
i guess things i wen thru last mth force me to open my eyes. nvr judge a book by its cover. dad always say tt every1 has a secret agenda, whether its to help, for fun, for love, to hurt, to bang. believe me every1 has their reasons. god make ppls go thru emotional crisis to test dem show us who to keep n who to throw. i guess god did a great job at doing it. every1 has their fights whether its frens or family. having a closer bond depends on wat de person did. don open ur mouth if u hav nothing gd to say. tts smthing every1 shud teach their children. once it cm out of ur mouth, u can nvr take it baq. believe me, NEVER.

i guess dis bond will nvr b close. im a forgiving person, it will be exceptional for u. ill nvr forgive, wat else forget. every1 is stress wat makes u so special? i guess ur jus heartless. u were nvr der except wen u had to. ur buzy? every1 is. don u noe how to plan? oh ya u always change it last minute. u jus shoot ur words but 1st get ur story straight, ders always 2sides to a story. u talk bout others. pls look in de mirror, ders a whole lot of flaws u have there. u say ppl hav a bad agenda, pls fitnah dose. cm here n open ur eyes big big. she jus lost her bestfren, shes hurting, shes weak, shes alone but where r u.

i love u love!

2009-04-30T03:54:00.003+08:00

our relationship is 1 weird relationship. wit all de ups n down we went thru but we're slowly getting der. i noe u always get the blame for wat i did. i hav my flaw n i don expect u to understand every single 1 of dem but u always try. the things tt happen b4 is smthing i not proud of but im glad it happen. it make us stronger n a better couple. even wen we were apart u are always der for me. loving, caring, supporting me n praying for my grandfather. im really grateful for tt. im sorry if i ever hurt u. for the ppl who calls u a jerk pls don. u always treat de ladies nicely n tt dey always gets de wrong idea. i hav to blame ur mom for tt. haha. sorry cik.

i love u abdul shahrir!

grumble3

2009-04-29T00:56:00.003+08:00

thunder n lighting scared de shit out of me. t3 wit bf was great. cold, quiet n deserted. did 1 ppr at etrial got 86% which is a fail. need lots of improvement. suppose to b researching but seems to really bad at it. guess i cant b in r&d. need to start self studying coz de slides in class n book is different. guess it a gd thing too. i really hate de fact tt de lesson keep changing date. gd thing alex told me. wont wan to see me frustrated n sweating tmrw. haha. still wondering whether i shud take de job or not.

2009-04-27T03:39:00.002+08:00

i so love my niece n nephew.
24 was spend at grandma's which was at bukit batok. me n sis surprise dad by buying him avocado choc n pandan. me n sis help around at grandma's. since im not tt gd wit hs work. so sis do mostly de dishes while i helped wit de epok2 n setting de food. i love de little ones. so kiut. if only i hav a camera, i wuld fill dis blog wit all their pics. i think i shud put it on my to buy list.

25 was wit bf. wen to sentosa. bought bubbles, uno n sandwiches which we didn't finish. set our mat in front of cafe del mar. ders dis drunk eurasian who played uno wit us. he keep putting de wrong cards. cant stop laughing. we den stop by cool deck. ders so many ppl der. den head down palawan n played wit bubbles. weee~

watched jangan teguh. crapy show. 1stly it has nothing to do wit de title. de ghost keep coming out every 5 mins. i hate de way de guy speak. n i don really lyk de crowd. all in all i guess it jus 2 out of 5.

cant wait for skol n etrail! n not forgeting bugis!!! weee~

goals..

2009-04-25T13:11:00.002+08:00

i need to start setting goals. long term, short term n even daily goals. 1st thing 1st assignment. hate dem but its a must. wat even rubbish i cm up wit i hope i still get an 'a'. 2nd lose weight. i jus can stand de jiggle in my legs n hands. see u gals dis coming saturday. 3rd meet frens more often. i really miss dem but i keep putting dem off.

i always need sm1 or smthing to motivate me. y cant i motivate myself.

2009-04-24T00:04:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYAH AND NENEK!!!!
how cool is it mother n son shares de same birthday date.

life goes on. de memories of u is de best thing u left behind. clever, strong, generous, helpful those were de quality u possess. im glad tt u r my grandfather. I'll never forget u.

skol hav been great. but i hate assignment. never know how to start it. group i need help! n i love avocado thanks to bf.

off to see bf. his helping wit assignment. wee~

2009-04-19T23:49:00.001+08:00

been spending my days wit de love ones dis past few days.
start de week wit bf.
looked for bf shirt at city hall on wed.
spend 2 straight days at nenek's.
nisa, nurril n illyana was my sat to fish n co n tamp 1.
n ended de week at escape theme park wit abu, sis n kalil.
reach nenek's wet n wild.

i get atuk's traveing bag.
love love it.
cant wait to use it.
i miss atok.

b i had to finish abu's hw.
im sorry for not meeting u.

Grandfather.

2009-04-10T03:41:00.005+08:00

i wanted to blog but i jus didnt hav de tym.

grandfather wen hosp on Fri nite. on sat i wanted to say tt im glad tt his condition seems better. me n kak mi was suppose to over nite der tt nite but we didn't. den Sunday morning we had a call frm cik man jangut tt his condition deteriorated. he had another stroke tt nite. he had a ct scan n it showed tt his left brain n back rite brain was gone. he cant even hav an op. i talked to cik fau. every1 was so scared dey camped at de lobby. sun nite cik man slp der.

on mon morning i wen to skol but der was a change in time table. met shahrir. den off to hosp. der was cik lin only. we talked. she said its quite bad. i was hoping for a miracle. every1 came to see him. had a family meeting. planned wat we gg to do for de mth. every1 left except me, sis n kak mi. got frustrated over a msg. talked dad at de lobby. at 3 we wen to see atok. sis n dad wen to eat at qiji. i selawat while kak mi yasin. atok cough. called de nurse. start to panic. nurse suck out his flam. nurse suck out his vomit. nurse start to panic. nurse gav him face mask. called sis. sis arrived in 2 mins. nurse checked his pulse. called cik su. nurse called doctor. every1 start to panic. we istifar for atok. i hold his left hand sis was bside me. kak mi n dad was at his rite. i culd feel de cold rising. sis n dad start calling every1. doc came to check his bp. doc tear n said he was gone. called every1. hold his rite hand. de cold kept rising. kak mi hugged him. dad hugged him. i kept kissing atok. 3.30 was de tym he left. cik su n cik man came came every1 else. atok was send to last office. took de death cert wit cik noi n cik fau. lepak at qiji wit dem plus sis, lil, johann. wen baq to last office den cik izah family arrived.

had a ceremony. it was shining, de wind was blowing, de rain was very calming. de whole house was filled wit every1. he was surounded by his family, frens n every1 tt love him. wen to msjd kalid. it was jus drizziling. wen to cck it was shining. der was sadness in me but mostly it was filled wit happiness. i was happy tt he was strong, de great memories he left n tt he didnt suffer. i was happy to see 5 white little imps squatting bside his grave reading yasin for him.

now nenek no fren. will b staying wit her for awhile.

ill alwyas love u atok.

i feel... lost.....

2009-04-04T08:39:00.001+08:00

people laugh wen dey r happy. people cry wen dey r sad. but wat do dey do wen dey r lost?

i hav nvr been dis hurt in my life. i love my family wit all my heart but y cant i show dem tt. i hav nvr tell dem tt i love dem. m i heartless or smthing? i wan things to b better. but im de 1 whose burning it in to flames. wat ever i do i regret. wat ever i do scars me so deep in de heart. dis is de 1 thing i wanted since i can remember. my happy family. but y m i not starting wit de 1 im born in. i always tell myself everything happens for a reason. aft breaking it in 2 pieces now i shud start make dis family happen.

still healing frm de scar i brought to myself. a huge scar is being slash thru my heart. de biggest i ever had. i nvr learn how to deal wit emotions. but i tend to deal it in a diff way frm others. i guess i a bit reserve wen showing my emotions.

wen sis picked up de fone at dinner tym. i didn't noe wat was coming. my grandfather cant get up or open his eyes. wen i got de news i was lost n left de hs a bit later. i saw de ambulance i tried to convince myself it was not grandfather. but who was i lying but myself. i ran as fast as i culd. i knew tt i wont b on tym to see him. but im grateful n shock how fast de ambulance came. i felt lyk my heart is being crushed. trying not to steer emotions i watched hannah montana, skip my way to de hospital n played wit beads. but my grandfather was de only thing on my mind. wen i saw him on de bed i was scared. i was scared to touch his fragile hands. i wanted him to b safe n better. i wan him to b better so i can spy on him wen he makes his way to tm or hm. i love him wit all my heart. i wish i culd show him tt.

took 1 small pill of atarax at 2 in de morn n tt cant even put me to slp.

feels lyk insomnia!

2009-04-02T07:26:00.005+08:00

1whole mth i cant slp at nite. it suck so much. my eye bags is getting big n black. tears keep flowing jus coz its so tired. n not forgetting de constant yawning. i hate tt i cant wake up in de aftnoon. i hate how i look now. hate dis eye bags.

i guess its tym to see de doctor.

help!

2009-04-02T02:10:00.002+08:00

all i feel is pain n hurt. i wan to stop all of dis. i don wan to feel dis way. i tot i was de only thing tt can keep de hole in my heart filled. guess wat its worst! y does it feels so pain? how do i stop all off dis? will it stop if my heart stop beating?

breaking. break. hopfully not broken...

2009-03-29T23:19:00.004+08:00

its been awhile since i last blog. dis week hav been a tough week for me. hurting n beening hurt. frm who else but myself. i hav been putting myself in difficult situation. i really need to get hold of myself.

love urself 1st b4 loving another.

mdis here i cum.

2009-03-20T19:11:00.001+08:00

miss my freaking ftt.
but nvr mind.
jus start all over again n wait another 1 mth or so.
will b starting skol really soon.
hope dis tym ders nothing to stop me.
n ill pass wit flying colours.

i currently in love wit ellen n pink.

tym to hit de gym!

2009-03-16T12:47:00.000+08:00

kalil bday pit pics is on my multiply.

today n tmrw will b buzy studying.
im planning to jog.
but need to get my jogging shoes 1st.
at de same tym i wan to start gg gym.
my whole body is so jiggly.
i wan a tone body n tan flawless skin.
i hate mosquitoes n i hate my scars.

i wan their body.
look how tone n tan de body is.
I WAN!!!!

2009-03-12T03:35:00.000+08:00

im so in love wit john legend.
his so freaking charming.
i wanna hav a sloooow dance wit him!
hehehe.
*melts*

2009-03-09T17:13:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KALIL!!!!!
hope all ur wishes come true!!!

yesterday at pasir ris pit 10.
we celebrated kalil bdae thanks to my sis.
but de wired thing is...
all de food was made by kalil.
de ayam, tom yam, salad, sandwich.
all bcoz he love to cook.
i came late coz of rashes.
some of sis frens left early.
most of de ppl der is iman's n kalil's fren.
kak mi came down really late.
we kept 6 ayam for her.
2 was gone.
we suspect de bloody stick thin underage meennaaa took it.
didnt eat much at de pit so i had breakfast at mac.
overall it was fun.
THANK U KAKAK!!!

2009-03-07T05:11:00.000+08:00

i shud start acting lyk my age.
n stop worrying too much.

painter on de job

2009-03-07T02:31:00.000+08:00

5 of march.
aftnoon was spent cooking cp chicken for shahrir n eating ice cream.
wen bf is aslp, im wit my friend leonard.

wen nite falls me n sis head to grandma hs wit abu while waiting for kak mi.

since kak mi gg to nikah at nenek hs we need to paint cik ati room.

charlie chaplin painting de room frm dull orange to light pink.

abu keep running away playing wit sis hp.

too bad i don hav kak mi candid pic.

at 12 kak mi n abu knock out.

left me n sis doing all de work.

nenek oso help to watch.

we ended at 2.

de next day abu had to go to skol.

sis had to get food for de pit.

me n kak mi continue sleeping.

we woke up at 12.

continue painting de ceiling.

as usual nenek help to watch.

ceiling seems to b so much harder.

esp wit all de droppings.

i keep scrubbing my leg every 20 mins.

we finish double coating de ceiling at 6.

de room look so pinky.

so kak mi.

btw de last man standing is ME!!!

TMRW KALIL BDAY PIT.

2009-03-04T18:33:00.000+08:00

i wont be updating much.
its not tt i don use de comp.
im jus using Shahrir's comp most of de tym.
i prefer using de laptop when i blog.

been reading books.
i really lyk James Frey's.
im done wit a million little pieces.
n i jus started wit my friend Leonard.
his books is partially non friction.
it mayb annoying to sm.
coz der sm part where he lyks to repeat n abit long winded.
but i guess its jus wats on his mind or when de fury rises.
n de thing i love bout de book is de cover.
really pretty.

2009-02-25T03:41:00.000+08:00

wen to ikea on sunday wit de family.
grandma ask us out to get stuff for kakmi's marriage.
since it will b held at grandma's.
me, mom, dad, kak mi, abu n nenek took de car.
while kakak took de bus.
wen for late lunch while waiting for her.
sis took pic with her camere.
some candid shots while eating.

aft eating we went in separately.
mom, kak mi n grandma.
dad,sis, me and abu.
but most of de tym me n abu got lost.
abu jus love de toilet.

and at last a room we all agree tt we love.

aft ikea we stuff every1 in de car n wen to giant.
favourite buy goes to cp chicken.

2009-02-21T05:37:00.000+08:00

woke up sick today.
dry cough with thick yellow substance coming out my nose.
microwave my breakfast at 7.
watch news n ellen.
n end up slping on de sofa.
woke up again at 6 n roll till 7.
eat dinner.
watch tv wit mom.
head to kak mi's hs.
play monopoly wit abu, kakak n kak mi.
kak mi got kick out.
in de end kakak 1st den me lastly abu.
send cik su off.
n play uno n heart attack.
watch 2 n a half men n what women wants.

its been 2weeks since i last blog.
im great.
families great.
relationship fine yet to improve.
everything else is smooth sailing.
n i hav LOST 4KG.
pri6 was 48 till sec5 gain 1kg n lost 4.
wow!!!

cant wait for 20march.
n especially 16may.
KAK MI WILL OFFICIALLY B ARY'S.
hhahahahahahahaha!
SELAMAT BERNIKAH!!!

2009-02-04T15:08:00.000+08:00

nvr in my life hav i ever felt dis sick.
gd thing it only last for 1 day.
kakak so busted la say i sakit puki.
had migraine on my rite side.
so my whole rite side was so freaking pain.
culd hardly open my rite eye.
had to bath for more den an hr to get rid of de pain.
de worst part was i vomited everything out even when i had nothing.
yucks.
gd thing i was at bf place.
at least ders sm1 to cater to me.
hehehehe.
i feel contented rite now.
nothing can take tt away frm me.
feels lyk im at cloud 99.
weeee~

i love my family n my bf.
i hope everything will turn out better.

aft mens, pms start

2009-02-02T15:28:00.000+08:00

smthing jus seem so wrong.
I'm jus not sure wat it is.
family? friends? bf?
i donoe mayb all.
mayb its jus me feeling paranoid.
i hate dis feeling.
i hate RUDE ppl.
dey r so fuck up.
i hate getting hiccup almost every 2days.

stupid morning calls

2009-01-29T22:24:00.000+08:00

was so tired den had to slp so late.
thanks to smbody.
so i slp at 6.30 den woke up at 10.
shahrir called at 12 n we met at 1.30.
took de cab to his place.
alot has change.
his coutch, bed, pillow, bolster.
almost everything.
ate ice-cream n curry.
wen to tampines mrt to change ezlink.
it took us almost 30mins.
den we watch inkheart.
it was great.
i was so tired my eye kept tearing.
so irritating.
aft de movie we had our "heavy" snack.
n met up wit his fren.

wen i got hm.
i was too tired i cant even climb de stairs.
so my nite was spent on de sofa.

de fight

2009-01-28T18:52:00.000+08:00

wen shopping wit mom.
den iman n abu join.
den dey left to bring de things hm.
den kakak joined us for...
late break fast, late lunch n early dinner.

everything happens for a reason.
1 split sec can change everything.
1 move will trigger everything.
all i ever wish for is happiness.
for me n my love ones.

i need to slp.
but i cant.
im jus too excited.
i culd hear my heart beating.
jus less den 10hr.
n im baq in his arms.
hmmmm i miss u so much.

tv shows!!

2009-01-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

Sunday is such a bore.
at 4 in de morning.
mom aslp, iman n kakak out n dad still bz working.
watch in style n slept on de couch.
woke up n dad was gg to work.
i miss spending tym wit dad.
i wish for family outing jus lyk b4.
den woke up n start pounding on chili, onion n ikan bilis.
in front of de tv.
grandparents came.
so glad tt dey came.
i miss dem.
n dey brought us lunch.
cook dinner wit mom n slp again.

3 in de morning i was making my way to kak mi hs.
jus finish watching 2episode of gossip girl.
so sad i cant watch desperate housewives season 5.
but at least i got to finish supernatural season 4.
I'm so in love wit supernatural.
thanks to dearest shahrir.

1 more day.
jus 40+hrs more.
hehe.

im so excited!!

2009-01-26T20:14:00.000+08:00

Beyonce - Single Ladies (Parody With Justin Timberlake [SNL]) -

Jus 2more days!
but his keys wit me.
den i guess i need to der 1st.
so wat tym shud i drop by?

dis whole day has been such a great day for me.
till iman spoil it.
he n his grumpy old behaviour.
such an ass.
gd thing ibu didnt blow up in flames.
fairprice was close n will b close till 27.
so no food at hm.
shud b cooking wit mom tmrw.
hope it wont over cook.
hah.

I wont let my gaurd down for anyone but you.

2009-01-25T18:24:00.000+08:00

im feeling so tired, sleepy but happy.
came baq frm work n hav been surfing de net since 12.
so glad at de same tym sad im wont be working de whole week.
glad coz bf will b baq n kak mi nk meninang.(at last)
sad coz i noe i culd get full shift n stuff meal.(i wan prawn pasta)
but nvm helping out it gd.

i noe wat to do wen bf cam baq.
including valentine day.
WOOT WOOT!!
now im in search of a present.
hmmm... wat shud i get him?
3 more days jus 3 more days!!!!
i miss his voice, his touch, his lips, his hugs n kisses.
i miss him!!!

we both know im not tt strong

2009-01-22T17:04:00.000+08:00

dec was not a gd mth for me.
but it was a memorable 1 indeed.
de mistake i did will nvr b repeated.
smthings were shity.
but de person i spent it wit make it all worth while.

jan is coming to an end.
i miss shahrir so much.
it is a lazy mth for me.
but i accomplish alot frm it.
had to deal wit my mistakes.
n gotten to noe my strength n weakness.
now i need to find smthing im gd at.

n as for fed.
i donoe wat it may bring.
but come wat may.
ill stand strong n im gona work hard.
for my family, bf n myself.
as for friendship i need to work on it.
u noe i love u.
but im sorry for not noeing how to show.

I miss de lips tt make me fly

Nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away

2009-01-21T15:54:00.000+08:00

8 more days jus 8 more days.
i cant wait to see him.
he called today.
so glad tt he did.
thank god his doing fine.
i jus wish i culd see him rite now.
i miss him i really do.

170109

2009-01-19T20:56:00.000+08:00

http://missingpartofme.multiply.com/photos/album/14/cukur_rambut_irfan
http://missingpartofme.multiply.com/photos/album/14/cukur_rambut_irfan
http://missingpartofme.multiply.com/photos/album/14/cukur_rambut_irfan
http://missingpartofme.multiply.com/photos/album/14/cukur_rambut_irfan

2009-01-18T15:54:00.000+08:00

today is such a great day.
woke up early, had breakfast wit mom n did de dishes wit mom.
had my late afternoon sleep.
every1 at home jus seem so happy.
n at 5 wen off to bedok wit grandparents, iman, hassan n ibu.
der was a kenduri arwah.
abu, cik man, cik su, cik noi, raihann n johanna came abit later.
at 7.30 abu, iman n i cab all de wat frm bdok to you tee.
for de 1st tym i felt lyk de president wen i came out of de cab.
hehe.
der was a kenduri cukur rambut for my little irfan.
his jus de kiutest thing.
didnt cry even once.
by de tym we came dey were packing.
played wit dani n carried irfan.
sprayed at sharafinah n tackled sharien.
dani, iman, abu, abg faizal, abg lin, abg aman, sharien n me played soccer.
im so glad tt abu followed even if eiffah was nt der.
at de end of de day cik acak send us hm.
n as usual i send abu hm.

2009-01-17T15:44:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BDAY YAN!!!!

yan celebrated his 19 bday 2day.

we as in his frens, gf n me smoked sheesha at haji lane.

got him a strawberry ice cream cake.

his fren got him a new watch.

lawa oi!

n de guys took LOTS of pic of demself.

I WAN NEW WATCH!!

can i get both?

ABOUT ME:

-Digital and dial retro watch by Casio
-Gold finish with bracelet style strap and face
-Clasp fastening with embossed brand logo

ABOUT ME:

- Watch pendant necklace from Marc By Marc Jacobs
- Gold design with zip tab shaped pendant
- Quartz watch face inset, clasp fastening
- 30m water resistance

These words were nvr easier for me to say or her to second guess

2009-01-14T17:41:00.000+08:00

14 more days!!! i so cant wait!!
if only i culd slp n wake up on tt day.
but too bad im not a heavy sleeper.

i noe each yr i change alot.
n dis yr i bcame dis quiet person.
usually i say wat i think.
but donoe y im hiding myself, my tots, my frustration, my sadness.
ders alot i wan to say but i cant.
my heart hurts so much.
so much happen on nov n dec.
everything tt happen jus hurts so much.
i did try to make things better but it jus hurts a whole lot more.
i donoe wat to do.
i wish de pain culd go away.
tts y i hide myself in dis house or kak mi's.
i jus wan to b happy is tt too much to ask for?

im sorry mai i donoe y i feel lyk an outsider.

2009-01-12T17:08:00.000+08:00

made my way to woodlands wit kak mi.
den to bukit batok alone.
my uncle jus came baq frm haj.
too bad dad had to work.
he send mom n iman.
abu tagged along.
wen i arrive i tot i was late.
der was only 3 family der.
me, iman n abu took care of de little ones.
eiffah was so adorable.
abu so love eiffah.
half n hr b4 we left every1 came.
about 6 family i guess.
dani n irfan was der too.
dani was so kiut wit his vest n his baby talk.
while irfan was so fragile.
iman love kids but he was scared of their saliva
sufian send us hm.
n me n iman had to send abu hm.
so another nite at kak mi's hs.

2009-01-09T11:56:00.000+08:00

frm mon to thur had nothing to do.
no work, mai work, dearest away.
so spent tym wit family.
yest accompanied iman to semei ite.
its a scary place i must say.
iman is not de public transport kind of person.
frm prss to ite to hm we took cab.
thank god we didnt get lost.
de person who interview him was so weird.
didnt ask anithing bout retail but more bout de skol.
wen hm n meet kak mi at her work place.
as usual she was late again.
dis tym only 5 mins late.
ary join us.
help her change de dress den walk around at bazaar.
1 of dis days will b gg out wit kak mi again.
will b watching bedtym story wit iman, abu mayb nadia n khalil.
but has not confrm de date.
n on sunday will b out wit mai.
woot woot.
miss her so much.
YEAH!! tmrw work!

tot of u wen i heard dis song.

2009-01-07T18:00:00.000+08:00

been doing hs work.
so not me.
so suprise to hear his voice.
i so miss tt voice of his.
i didnt expect to hear frm him.
but im so happy tt he called.

since nye i hardly step out of my hs.
except wen i wan to meet mai, work or take food.
but atlast today is de day i step out of de hs to do smthing diff.
abu came to my place while i got ready.
met kak ummi n ary, her bf at bk.
abu had to cut his hair.
wen for dinner.
aft tt ary had to go.
as for de rest of us we wanted to watch movie.
but de movie starts at 9++.
we did nt watch as abu will b skoling tmrw.
walk at pasar mlm.
kak mi bought 2 dresses n abu bought a watch.

i cant wait for tmrw.
will b meeting mai.
den kak mi.
n hopefully he will call again. =D
i miss u so much.

2009-01-01T18:34:00.000+08:00

Happy New Yr Everybody!!

i donoe y but i don lyk crowds when im not wit bf , bff or family.
i didnt plan to go out for de day.
but sis n kak mi ask to go out.
incase we plan to meet.
sis n khalil wen out 1st.
den kak mi n ary.
for sm reason kak mi came baq.
so i waited for an old fren to finish work to pick me up.
at 11 ramadan took me n we were off to mbp.
but to my disapointment de road was close.
so we park at suntec n walk all de way to esp.
de whole place was pack wit mostly indians.
we made our way to de stage but stop at de drink stall.
it was jus too crowded.
i jus lean at dis tall angmoh so i culd get a better view.
de fireworks cos de sky to b smoky.
i think de previous 1 was better.
we to de stage to watch de show.
i jus cant stop laughting.
2white island covered by de black sea.
heh.
wen baq almost fall off de bike.
reminder: don slp on bike.

2008-12-31T03:04:00.000+08:00

we took each day a step at a tym.
always hoping for de best.
we spend each day wisely.
bt things hardly wen our way.
everything tt happen make us stronger.
wit u by my side i always felt safe.
i didnt wan to get out of de safezone.
each day i wish tt dis day wont come.
dis very day where u were taken frm me.
i culd do nothing but watch u go.
i noe im weak bt i cant let u see dis side of me.
im gona b strong.
not for u not for me.
but for us.
i love u.

2008-12-27T03:17:00.000+08:00

PICNIC!!!

picnic was de shit.
best gile!!
de food was great.
a big thank u to alam n zai.
not to forget aizat n nisa for de cake.
i think de cake made us a bit high.
thanks to de suger rush.
camwhored thanks to aizat cam.
pics will b posted at multiply.
we went picnic at fort canning.
der was me, bf, nisa, aizat, zai n alam.
slack at esp.
yati, alam gf join us.
all in all i had a great day.
hope we culd do dis more often.

2008-12-25T01:40:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

i wasn't expecting anything but i got 2 presents!!
woot woot!!
both frm cik noi.
its been so long since i last receive a present.
its been 6 or 7 yrs i guess.
its so fun wen 1 of ur aunt celebrate Christmas.
n she love gg overseas.
for de black 1 its not de exact pic.

tmrw will b gg to picnic wit bf n frens.
1 of his fren will b cooking.
cant wait to try!
me n bf wen shopping for wat to wear tmrw.
got myself shoe only since bf had bought me a dress.
we yet to buy nachos for tmrw.

smtyms i regret wat i do.
but im glad it happen.
thank you dearest.
for making my life much more crazier.
i love you abdul shahrir.

2008-12-20T16:14:00.000+08:00

happy 19 birthday siti maisarah!!!!!!!!
i love u many many!!!
mwaks!

been eating alot.
i so love hatate n abdul..
yummy.

will b working on weekends only.
gd thing got mai.
woot woot.

weekdays will b spent meeting gfs.
rindu bangat same nisa, nurril n amirah nasir.
make plan k.
pape pecit.
hehehehehehehehe.

2008-12-06T17:44:00.000+08:00

so freaking tired.
n de comp is so so so slow....
irrits sia.
hehe.

i had a great day.
mai woke me up for work.
chity chaty.
i was 10 mins late for work.
i don really lyk doing morn.
gd thing it ended at 3.
aft work i met nisa at lavender.
did my passport n de bloody collection date is on de 11.
so sad cant follow mai n family.
with nothing plan we jus took de train.
stop at city hall n bought cookies, brownies n muffin.
so chocolaty.
i think im gona hav sore throat.
slack at esp.
we were disturb by dis crazy person.
thanks to my words we got rid of him.
we wen window shopping at city link n raffles city.
i wan to get high heels n girly girly dressy.
pretty please......
not sure y we were oogling on gals.
but on our way baq der was dis guy.
his face so drop dead gorgeous.
outside de mrt we watch dis artist spraying spraying.
den had my 1st meal of de day at macd.
on de way hm i had to cover my fat ass stomach.

i still hav brownie.
thanks hanisah.

2008-12-01T15:56:00.000+08:00

been spending my tym wit abdul shahrir n siti maisarah.
spent 2 stright days wit de abdul.
wen to places where its jus de 2 of us.
had a heart 2 heart talk.
he nvr fail to make me feel so love.

i so love my job.
all thanks to de staff.
but i hate not getting more shift.
so im still job hunting.
stupid nydc full tymer.

2008-11-23T02:01:00.000+08:00

i noe im strong.
but i tot i was stronger.
dis week show me my strength.
n my weakness.
its sunday n my heart start to pump so hard.
coz i noe de 1 i love will b away for sm tym.
im scared to b alone.
even if i hardly meet him.
noeing tt his close to me give me de confident to face dis life.
im gone miss u so so much.
i love ABDUL SHAHRIR

2 person nvr fail to make my day.
dey make me feel so love.
dey r lyk a family to me.
i love SITI MAISARAH & NURUL AMIRA.

i miss my lil bro.
yesterday he ask for my help to dress him for prom.
his prom was at 6.30 n i had only 2hrs only.
wen i saw how gd looking he look.
i felt so ecstatic and contented .
i love MUHAMMAD NUR IMAN.

i so love working wit MRS FREDTING!!
n i miss working wit MR FREDTING

i NEED a NEW JOB.
i hardly get shift la sey.
dis week i work only 3 shift next week only 2.
wtf.
its already de 23 n i only earn 100++.
tts lyk so shity.
i wan MORE SHIFT!!!!!!!

2008-11-15T19:06:00.000+08:00

how do i feel?
great!
been spending my nites at abdul or at mai.
der was 1 nite where me n abdul jus talk talk n talk.
i jus hope things will b better.
work helps me forget bout everthing.
i still need to find another job.
im happy i wen out of tt hs n found great ppl tt i love n love me.

if things went differently will it b better or worst.
smtimes i wish it was different.

2008-11-11T17:47:00.000+08:00

2008-11-10T23:05:00.000+08:00

im so confuse.
what shud i do?

2008-11-10T10:19:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 23 BIRTHDAY WJ!!!

had a blust yesterday.
more lyk today.
wen to clark quay wit 15 of my workmate.
we celebrate wj bday.
dey bought addiction which was for show.
only me mai fhmy rizal n ken ate it.
only de bottem coz de top was squash wit WJ face, egg n saliva.
ewwwww.
jill n rowland wen to home.
wanted to join but stayed n disturb de drunkie.
6 of dem drunk.
de rest almost.
step on fhamy's vomit n rizal's saliva.

wen to mac at 4.
jus to eat n dey fought wit de manager.
5 polis came.
atlast we wen away.
me mai raizal n fhamy wen off 1st.

slp n woke up at 1 n my body ache lyk hell.
i can hardly open my eye.
but aft a cup of hot tea everything is baq to normal.

2008-11-08T14:18:00.000+08:00

dearest wit aan.
siti at work.
while nad is at cik su hs watching ema.
dis ema is so much better den de 1 russel brand hosted.
bcoz katy perry host it.
she kept changing cloths.
it so kiut n bright.
i lyk.

i feel lyk a big sister wen i slp at cik su hs.
taking care of abu n hassan.
ma n abu made dis delicious banana mix wit strawberry n maple syrup.
while wit hassan we talk bout how he feel n rock music.

yesterday hunny bunny n i ton.
we were at pasir ris.
met at his place den off to tamps.
eat walk2 den wen ehub.
at der we walk around, slack, read book, explore de place.
n we played mind games.
but since i was a scary cat we didnt aft 5.
slack at mac for breakfast.
b4 gg hm.

tmrw will b celebrating 1 of my workmates bday.
will b gg to a chinese ktv.
nvr been der but i hope it will b fun.
hope me n mai is not de only malay.

2008-11-05T10:03:00.000+08:00

i was watching gossip girl's bloopers n interview.
n i must say Ed Westwick n Chuck Bass is so hot.
k fine i noe dey r de same person.
but listen to de voice.
i love both.
chuck has dis sexy noti voice.
while ed westwick has dis sexy english voice.
oowwwww.. sexxyyy... i lyk.
hehehehe.

2008-11-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

i feel so sick.
had sore throat yesterday.
flu, cough, n block nose today.
i feel so sick.
t think i use half of a tissue box at mai's place.
now my white tissue turns to yellow.
i feel lyk scratching my throat.
i don wan fever.
help!

hunny bunny i miss u lots.
gd thing im meeting u later.
i miss u so much.

2008-11-02T22:05:00.000+08:00

mai's dad bought for her a new keyboard.
its kiut la.
soft, rubbery n PINK.
of all colours but its still kiut.

alot of things happen aft raye.
im hardly home.
been sleeping at mai's or abu's hs.

i didnt work for 1 mth.
next week i put frm mon to thu but didnt even get once.
n i need to get new job.
a full tym job.

as for love life.
im still deeply in love wit abdul.
but we hardly meet.
his usually wit frens or in bed.
it make me feel insecure.
n at tyms forgotten.
but as long as at de end of de day im de gal he thnks bout its gd enuf.
looking baq at de past.
it shows me how much we went thru.
how much he change for de better.
n not to forget how much he love me.
n i learn nt to b greedy n tt i shud nvr rush.

bff is always de best.
most of de tym she treats me better den her bf.
woot woot.
she always remind me how much bf love me.
sayang kau many many.

im not a guy or a gal.
im nad.
nadhira.

2008-11-01T20:03:00.000+08:00

Desperate Housewives season 5.
i watch till episode 5.
i really lyk de show.
ppl may not like it coz of de prob.
n saying its too over.
but i love it.
dis season is so a must watch.

de twins are smoking hott.

2008-11-01T14:10:00.000+08:00

i think i jus lost de 1 i love.

2008-10-28T20:40:00.000+08:00

cant slp.
not slyp at all.
still at abu's place.
guess it bcoz i slpt till 4pm jus now.
n i hardly move.
slp, play lappy, teach abu n watch tv all on de sofa.
oh der was 1 tym where i wen to abu's room to teach him.
half way i slp on his bed.
n wen to de kitchen twice to eat.
n de toilet 3tyms.

i thnk i need to exercise.
wat use to muscle is now fat.
n abdul always say im fat.
gd thng amira will b having her holidays.
den amira, mai n i can go swimming, jogging,cycing n not to forget badminton.
woot woot.

ders alot of needs tt i need to get.
n all de wants need to b on hold. :(
but ders 1 want tt cant b on hold.
hehe.

i came across dis video.
very funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EG-LaLJZcc&eurl

2008-10-28T09:39:00.000+08:00

lets not talk bout de unhappy moments.
my uncle wen to japan, Osaka.
we always web cam wit him.
he jus send us 4 pics.
i must say japan is a very nice place.
tym diff is 1hr.

i wan to go to Osaka.

2008-10-23T17:54:00.000+08:00

been using de comp de whole day.
when smthng caught my eyes.
its not me to really wan dis.
but pls can i hav it.
ill promise to take care of it n love it.
pls......
so wat caught my eyes was is

T-Mobile Sidekick LX

2008-10-20T15:50:00.000+08:00

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

2008-10-20T01:56:00.000+08:00

aeffah,my cousin's daughter is in yellow while sharafina,my cousin is in red.
dis is de only pix i hav for de raye wit dad's side.
i prefer aeffah original stright bob hair n she is so ganas.
i lyk.
ders a reason y i put dis pix.

sis lyk to point out when im not myself.
i always blive in fairness.
where every1 shuld b treated equally.
no favoritism or bias.
as for sis she jus lyk to criticise.
we always fight coz of her not being nice.
don get me wrong i love it too.
wat sis point out was tt i criticise sharafina witout even being nice.

if u were to ask me to compare aeffah, efi, aefikri n dani.
i cant decide coz all hav great points bout dem.
as for sharafina.
ill go on n on bout how slow she speak, how she don try, how she whine so much n how......
everytym she say smthng every1 will ignore her n continue de conversation.
i noe its rude i tried to listen jus tt i cant.
my ear feels lyk bleeding.
n wen u touch her she will go....
"owwwwwwwww sakkkiiiittttt laaaaaa" in a very sengau voice.
as for de little ones, i can throw dem in de air, bite dem, swing dem n play catching
WITHOUT any complains or whine.
oh n she remind me of lala.

is it jus me or m i being bias?

2008-10-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

tts abu n his dad, cik man.

today is gg to b a long nite.
i started to put in pix frm kak mi cam since 4.30.
now is lyk 6.01.
der is lyk 80++ pix.
im only at 40.

abu was so kiut.
1 sec aft sending his dad he misses him already.
adu n hakim bought for cik man a mnm chocolate dispenser.
but hakim brought it hm.
i dont see de connection.
cik man is staying at abu hs not hakim.
so rite now im at abu's place.
coz tmrw as in today at 9 we r so gg to movie marathon.
more lyk Disney channel marathon.
woot woot.

2008-10-19T11:50:00.000+08:00

mai n family is at sakura.
love is wit his bff.
n at hm der is jus mom n dad.
so i guess its de best tym to upload pix.
change url for multiply.
upload 5 album.
now need to go nadi putra's hs now.
den send cik man as his flying off to japan.

http://missingpartofme.multiply.com/

2008-10-16T17:20:00.000+08:00

bibik ask me.
hav u ever been hurt tt u cry so much n nothnG can make it better.
for her its her 1st ex.
watever her ex husband did, it cant hurt her till she cry.

de 1st name tt came to my mind was shahrir.
i didnt answer as i ask her to tell me de story.
bt it kept me thinkinG y him.
der were alot tt hurt me b4 him.
den i realise i need de rest for company.
as for him, his der wen i need him n at tyms wan him.
he understands me.his like my best fren.
my Girlfren.
my other half.
we tell each other almost everthnG.
nomatter wat he did i noe im de 1 he wans at de end of de day.
de 1 he love.
his de only 1 i ever love.
im sorry love if i ever hurt u.

HAPPy bIRtDAy NANA N IMAN!!!!

2008-10-15T17:37:00.000+08:00

at last i hav de tym to put up de pict.
im yet to get de 1 wit kak mi.
so anithng jus check out de multiply.

2008-10-15T10:28:00.000+08:00

dis past few days hav been very heaty.
i keep sweating which cause me to itch alot.
its not helping me wit my skin.
using de lappy in iman's room is not helping coz de fan broke.
n using it in my room i still feel hot.
n taking a bath is not helping.
mayb i shud jus relax in de bath tub de whole day.
ya tt is a gd idea for tmrw if love hav no plans.
in 40 mins tym will b meeting love.
we hav been wanting to eat at dis shusi place for almost a week now.
but keep having interruptions.
i donoe y but dis mth we hav been in to sushi n teriyaki.
basicly Japanese food.
ok tym to bath AGAIN.

2008-10-13T16:18:00.000+08:00

yesterday dad's side jln raye.
my dad has 12 bro n 4 sis.
dis yr no more bus since every1 wans to use cars n lorrys.
but for next yr it will b bus as all of us miss de lame joke n karaoke.
oh n not to forget cash for de rite ans.
woot woot.
so we started at 8.
my hs was de 4th tt was lyk at 12.
den we had to stop by arab st for an open shop.
i tot we were gg hm late.
but reach at 10.30.
tok pipi hs was de biggest.
3story high, a pond filled wit koil n gold fish.

it was so great.
i love taking care of de little imps up n down my hs.
swing dem round n round.
throwing dem up in de air.
i must say de kids made my day.
de best part was to be wit de family.
i so love dem.

2008-10-10T16:46:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS ABDUL SHAHRIR'S BURPDAY!!

What i had plan?
to ride de singapore flyer.
n to go to kenko fish reflexology.
or lyk he say "fish eat foot"
What happen?
woke up at 1 n realise i didnt hav anithng to wear.
got ready at 2 n still hav nothng to wear.
so i wore a purple spag, wit black skinie n heels.
reach his place at 3.
he n his bestie played dota.
while i watch tv.
thanks to captain ball n heels i found injuries i didnt noe i had.
frm my thigh to my ankle bone to my sole hurts so bad.
so switch to his old green slippers.
took cab to singapore flyer.
got our tix n off to kenko.
every1 shud try its a very ticklish.
he laugh so hard tt every1 der laugh too.
kiut! ^-^
explore de place n off to popeye.
den we wen to get our welcome cocktail at bistro senso.
i must say de drink n de place is perfect.
den we waited for sm1 to usher us to de flyer.
der was a communication error but dey end up sending us too.
in de capsule der was only me, bday boy n de host.
i finish de starwberry n chocolate.
we hardly touch de champagne.
end up bring hm de whole bottle baq.
n ended de nite.

2008-10-10T14:25:00.000+08:00

i hav been very emotional dis past few days.
as so much is on my mind.
n u hardly hear me talking about dem.
de only person i culd open up to is nisa.
but i hardly meet her.
i need a shoulder to cry on,
ears to listen,
n a person to support me.
but i hardly find tt animore.

i feel invisible.

2008-10-08T19:55:00.000+08:00

t y h b g H n

its hard wen i cant tell u things.
things tt is on my mind.im scared to hurt u.
coz i noe i hav hurt u badly tym n tym again.
i noe wat im doing is wrong.
i don need u to undersand.
all i ever needed is for u to support me.
im still young n i noe ill make lots of mistakes.
wat im doing mayb a mistake now.
but may not in de future.
we will nvr noe.
even if i don tell u i love u.
i do.
jus tt im scared of ur reaction.
tts y i keep every thing bottled up.

+o ibu.

2008-10-08T17:11:00.000+08:00

spend my day wit nisa.
frm cs to tm to ps to mac.
days wit her are always Great.
frm Gossips to jokes n soul seachinG.
not to forGet shoppinG.
tt petite crazy Gal nvr fails to make my day.
even wen she is at her lowest point.
i mus say she may look weak bt is stronG inside.
im Glad i hav her n mai as my frens.
n not to forGet shahrir as my bf.

pics r at nisa's blog.

2008-10-07T02:54:00.000+08:00

t y h b G n
mai nye comp can+ press dis letters.
so dis will b a shor+ pos+.

days n ni+es hav been spend at mai's place.
hardly meet de love 1.
he bz wit work as 4 me frens.
n i mus say dis makes me miss him so much.
can + wai+ +o see him +mrw.
his bdae is in 4days.
n i so can+ wai+.

i miss u love.

2008-10-04T14:59:00.000+08:00

i hate it wan sm1 is bias.
u may lyk tt person more but y must u hate de other?
its jus so unfair.
ya ya i noe life is unfair.
u wan ppl to treat u nicely but u treat de rest lyk shit.
u thnk ppl lyk u?
fyi ur family n ur frens.
dey hate u.
u always say don look at ppls mistake jus urs.
but u always find for ppls mistake n hate dem for it.
wat happen to forgive n forget?
u nvr forgive u nvr forget.
tts y ur family bcome lyk tt.
tts y she treat u tt way.
u force her to change u force ppl to change.
u change 1st den others will.
u lyk to manipulate ur words tts y she bcome so sick of u.
hate me all u wan.
i cant b bother.
coz at de end of de day wen every1 ignores u.
u will come to me.

2008-10-02T16:15:00.000+08:00

i thnk dis yr raye wasn't as great as de previous yrs.
mayb coz of de psle, o n n level exams.
mayb coz most of dem hav to go baq early.

dis yr started raye abit late coz i was very poop.
thanks to gg hm at 6 in de morning tt day.
coz me n dad wan geylang.
didnt wen to mai's place.
n it also ended early at about 11.30 coz of de psle ppl.

gg to nenek tamp was fun.
taking pics, chasing de kids n not to forget being pulled by de kids.
1thng great bout my mom side is tt we r very united.
as for dad side its jus too big.
full of politics, broken in to groups.
de jokes r oso to hurt dem.
i find tt very sickening.
n sm jus cant get along.

4 houses for each side of de family.
2 to 7 for mom's side.
n 7.30 to 11 for dad's.
mom side abit longer coz of de picture taking n all.
dis yr we didnt get to take whole family pic.

i hope jln raye wit dad family will b a great 1.
n i cant wait to jln raye wit bdk pri skol.
love will b following.
woot woot.
n not to forget love bday.

2008-10-02T15:30:00.000+08:00

so i woke up late today.
thanks to gg geylang at 4 in de morn till 6.30.
even at tt tym de shops was open n ofcoz lots of ppl was still der.

woke up at 1 so i didn't wen to mai's place.
wen nenek hs at 2.
took lots n lots of pics wit mom side of de family.
coz of tt we were bhind tym.
we wen to only 4hs including nenek hs.
n we parted during maghrib.
zoom off to bukit batok.
here no pics were taken.
every1 was der.
not only neneks children n cucu n cicit.
but her sisters n brothers family was der too.
half was standing.
so de grand uncle n auntie family had to leave.
den it was our turn to make our round.
dis yr lesser ppl follow.
so every thng ended at 11.30 thanks to psle.
so next sun will continue de rounds.

coming dec im gona b an aunt again.
another baby boy.

3event fall on de same day.
SELAMAT HARI RAYE.
HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY.
N HAPPY BDAY UMAR.

2008-10-01T17:15:00.000+08:00

hav not been blogging.
been spending tym wit family mai n bf.
me n bf hav been watching lots n lots of movie.
in 2 days we watched 3 movie.
house bunny, mirror n eagle eye is a must.
lagi2 mirror.
woot woot.

had dinner wit his mom jus now.
gav her kuih tart n cornflakes.
i must say she is a great cook.
so do visit her.

today is raye but to me everythng start at 10.
mai den cik su den nenek tamp family den nenek bukit batuk family.
get redy to go hm at 1am.
not sure whether to teman bibik to solat raye
dis yr will b de 2nd tym i cant.
so sad.
k la.

slmat hari raye.
maaf zahir dan batin.

2008-09-26T14:43:00.000+08:00

dis is de 2nd day i buke at nisa place.
she hav a very strict mother.
her family is almost part of mine too thanks to cik salmah.
cik salmah is my mom's best fren n nisa aunt.
me n nisa hav been altering on my baju raye.
im very glad i hav a fren lyk her.
its both me n her 1st tym altering.
u culd hardly see de mistakes.
but der surely is a mistake.
lyk i said gaining experiance.
in 2days we r done wit 2 baju.
n 1more left.
de funny part bout today is...
her mom asked me to over nite at der.

i miss shahrir.

2008-09-23T21:06:00.000+08:00

so my day started at 1pm but i slept baq.
n start again at 2.
called dearest den called hanisah.
waited n waited..

at last meet up at 330.
den off to bugis more lyk arab st.
i wanted to get baju raye n kain.
kain to sew slua n skirt.
so got myself baju baba n got 10%discount.
den we walked pass lots of kedai kain.
i stop n wen in to dis certain kedai.
de guy told me im lucky coz dey selling away n getting a discount.
1 pants long for 22.
but lyk he say im lucky.
i got 31/2 pants long at 22.
cool or wat.
den cha dot herself kain 1m at 2.50.
lagi cool.

we walked all de wat to raffles place.
wen around to find shoe.
culdnt decide on aldo or ninewest.
at last aldo it is.
but de heel is super high.
n de guy teach us smthng.
walk2 den eat at bugerking.
saw shane at de chocolate shop.
den i walk around to find bag.
but none was eye catching.
wated to to threading but it was around 9.
so i wen to cik su place.

mom, sis umar n lil bro was der.
hassan den kak mi n abu wen home 1 by 1.
so more ppl to help.
cik su do de tyming.
hassan do de kacauing cik su.
iman, abu n umar do de slacking
me, mom, sis n kak mi do de corn flakes.
oh kakmi oso de supervising n i do most of de tasting.
wootwoot!!

wat de man say was true its such a lucky day for me.
^-^

2008-09-22T18:36:00.000+08:00

as im typing dis post.
its pouring heavily outside wit thunder n lightning.
its been so long since it rained lyk dis.
i love dis weather.
coz i love to play in de rain.
but so much nicer to stay at home n cuddle.
dis weather remind me of dearest.

dearest bday is nearing.
i had lots on my mind.
not sure which 1 i shud do.
n im not sure whether he wants to.
i don thnk ill surprise him.
i wan to go sky dining or hot air balloon.
if sky dining can go sentosa again.
if hot air balloon can go other places.
mayb we shud go snowcity, wild wild wet or birdpark.
im so confused.
if only i culd read his mind n feel wat he feel.
i jus wan it to b special.
i jus wan to make u happy.
i jus wan to spend tym wit u.

New Blog Skin. WOOT WOOT!!

2008-09-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

found sm old pic.
so i tot i shud put it at my blogskin.
btw de lil gal is amira mai's sis.

song stuck in my head.

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

2008-09-21T20:37:00.000+08:00

its been so long since i last saw my granny.(dad side)
i was looking forward to see her.
but plan was cancel coz ibu was in a bad mood.
i noe it wasn't my fault coz wen i gav her de bday gift she sounds happy.
so i tot mayb jus me sis n dad jus drive down to bukit batok.
sis say it wan lil bro fault.
ayah say its partly his n ibu.
but i blive its iman.
so i wen mai's place to get sm food for ibu.
den i saw sis gg down de stairs.
she said dad didn't wan to go.
den we as in me sis n dad wen 900+ to get food.
got baq it was tym to buke.
ibu didn't wan to eat wat we bought.
my heart hurts alot.
de kurma ayam bibik cook was very nice.
wen up prayed n cry.
cry so much i felt weak n slp.
was suppose to call ayg.
wen i woke up it was 12.
called shahrir n mai.
on de comp.
shahrir made me feel so much better.
den at 430 me n ibu go sahur.
i heat up de curry ayam n re-cook de telur sambal.
look at ibu her eyes was red n swelling.
wen up tears fell.
i really do noe wat to do.
i cant see ibu n ayah lyk dis.
it hurts alot.
pls help restore my family happiness.

2008-09-20T00:09:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST IBU!!

i hav not been de best daughter.
but im trying my best.
late nites n sudden disappear is hard to cut down.
thanks to insomnia n wanting to b around my frens.
n for sure u don hav to worry.
im very safe n it wont shame u.

2008-09-19T01:00:00.000+08:00

i miss shahrir alot.
okey okey i noe i met him yesterday.
n im gg to meet him in 2hrs tym.
but i cant stop missing n thnking bout him.
n for sure i cant wait to see him.
i am myself around him.
alot might say im stupid to get baq wit him,
aft everythng tt has happen.
to tell u de truth i nvr regreat being wit him.
he makes me smile, laugh n cozy.
he even make my heart smiles.
most importantly contented.
smtyms we fight but tts wat makes us a couple.
i really love him i really do.
n i noe he love me too.
even if u were horrifically disfigured i wuld still love u.

wat ever tt happens in de past makes us stronger n so much more closer..
nomatter wat ppl might say be it my parents or sibilng.
i will still love u.

2008-09-18T14:55:00.000+08:00

dis week i belanje alot.
wat happn to saving?
but i jus bought myself a monkey bank.
its super kiut.
so i used mu money on...
food, exfoliation cloth, smthng for my heel, shared loreal eye contour cream wit mai, bag for ayg, 2kiut keychain for me n ayg.
ok i thnk tts all.

nxt week need gg to use up more.
1more baju raye, kasut, hair, kain to sew,
wow tts alot.

so next week will b gg out wit cha to suvey baju n kain.
abdul shahrir for his baju raye n mine too.
mai for hair n kasut i guess.

my skin is getting worst.
my face n my leg rabak.
no more smooth animore.
phff...
rabak.
i hope it will get better.
sobs.

2008-09-17T14:42:00.000+08:00

wen out wit mai, yan n his fren.
i thnk dis yr puase is diff.
coz i hav not seen his ex at geylang.
woot woot.
hope i wont see her at all.

i cant wait for raye.
dis yr me n hunny bunny might b gg out togethr.
2yrs stright he will go out wit his frens to mai's place n i wuld b serving him.
dis yr me n mai plan to go to bir's n de other ex evss place.
basiclly his frens.
n dis yr my family starting baq de tradition of ranting a bus.
dey stop it 2yrs ago coz most of dem were taking 'o'.
i so cant wait for raye.
woot woot!!!!!!!!

im so excited.
ayg bday coming wat shud i do n get for him.
hav been saving.
but might not b enuf.
mom don giv money animore.
so sad.

i hav a new bestfren.
she is kiut n noisy n she is 10yr.
can u guess who?

2008-09-16T08:40:00.000+08:00

i can find s tym to get my hands on a comp.
most of de tym ill b at work, out, mai or shahrir.
but for dis week mostly mai.
so lets start wit abu bday.

11 sept.
ABU BirdDAY.
i wen to skol at last.
den wen stright to atuk hs.
but it was a not really a great day.
as cik su abu's mom for de 1st tym culdnt handle hassan.
cik su is a very patience person.
so i was very shock.
n abu was very scared n he actually didnt wan to celebrate.
we masak2 den buke.
my dad layan hassan.
solat den i sneek in cik um rm to talk to cik su.
since im her favorite niece she told me wat happen.
me, abu, kak mi, nadia, iman, hassan, ary(ummi bf), kalil(sis bf) had tix to wall-e.
hakim cried coz his mom didnt let him go.
den his mom allowed him to go.
so we had to buy another tix for him.
off to ehub ary drive us der.
had to take care of de kids -abu,hakim n hassan.
but its was supper fun la.
i sat bside abu n it was super funny.
i thnk de only thnk u culd hear was de movie, abu n me.
den we wen hm.

12sept.
met shahrir for a few mins wen hm.
me, sis, iman n ibu wen kfc to buke.
i man as usual was being irrtating n demanding.
wasa so pissed tt i slaped his face in public.
it might not b hard but i hope it taught him a lesson.
den called shahrir but was to caught up wit work.
so i called mai.
wen stright to her hs around 9.
dey had plan to hav a small gethering for rais bday.
den den rais drive me, mai, amira n hakim to take fit.
den we sent ras hm den we were off to esplanade.
amira do most of de entertaining.
super kiut gal.
de guy taught her how to shuffle add wiggly2 hands n gelek2.
funny.
den we wen to ecp for supper cum sahur.
drive thru for amira macwings.
den wen to carls jr.
hakim n fit made a total mass of de place.
pepper n salt on de tray table n floor.
straws basicly everywhere aft mira taught dem how to take it out in de most coolest way.
fries every where.
n chilies in pepper n salt bottle.
den we filled up de drinks, took more starws n wen to de beach.
played wit de starw n made hearts.
played truth or dare.
den it came de rain.
we send mira hm den de rest we to cangi beach.
talk2 den de guys slp while me n mai wen to toilet.
wen mai place.
didnt realise mira waited for us.
aww how sweet of her.
watch click b4 it even finish all of us were a slp.

13 sept.
cik pau wen to my place.
i miss her so much.
den i was off to work wit mai.
buke der.
it was fun.
i miss work too.
called shahrir at work he was buzy wit work.
den wen mai place.
mai had to meet jar n sheena.
den me n mira played wit our make up.
since im not a make up person.
i only had powder,eye liner.
mira had eyeliner, nail polish, mascara n lip stick.
all her other stuff in her mom room.
wen mai came hm we takled her n kissed her on....
her cheeks, hands, n arm.
woot woot.
den sahur n slp.

14 sept.
dad wen mai place to wake me up.
called shahrir n he kirim bubble gum.
den off to jb.
wen giant find for de particular bubble gum but don hav.
belanje der n 1krm is gone.
den mkn near der.
basiclly i ate alot.
mee hong kong,half a chicken,otak2,satey,ayam percit.
den off to angsana.
bought curtain n baju raye for de guys.
walk round but didnt buy much der.
den walk at de baza n bought kuih raye.
we wen to dis place my uncle love to go n eat again.
we order very little.
ikan 3 rase, sayur, telur, tomyam, n burung.
de burung was so nice.
dad bought magazine.
den baq to singapore.
by de tym we reach hm it was already 2.
den called shahrir n maio.
den wen mai place.
reach der same tym as sheena.
chat.
watch meet dave wit mira.
sahur my kacang pool.
send sheena to de door.
n slp.

today.
woke up at 10am.
wen hm bath.
me n sis look out de window jus to look at issac n his sis.
super kiut kid living 1 hs away.
he hav his kiut hair cut n love to repeat wat he say.
n as for his lil sis, she lyk to repeat wat her bro say.
den off to shahrir place.
super kiut la he.

tmrw slp.
hope i wake up.

2008-09-11T01:15:00.000+08:00

tmrw will b abu's bday.

WOOT WOOT.

for his 11bday we plan to make it a great 1.

since his our dearest abuncet.

de youngest guy in de family.

de most kind hearted n boncet.

we plan to celebrate at datuk hs.

hav a big feast.

watch movie.

giv present.

not sure wat dey planing to give.

actually i wanted to bake him a cake.

but i lost track of tym n had to cancle tt.

2008-09-10T14:55:00.000+08:00

today i didnt wen to skol. :(
over slept.
den at 2 kak ummi came over.
for only 30 mins but a gd 30 mins.
i donoe y dis yr i really lyk her.
last tym i do lyk her but dis yr awhole lot more.
i guess mayb she has change.
at 230 we walk together i stop at de bustop to go shahrir hs.
while she to work.

shahrir was asleep.
he showed me his spore animal.
so kiut.
slack.
den i wen off to cik su hs around 6.

use uzap not sure if its effective.
took de food n wen hm to buke.
mom wen to cik su hs.
abu n iman buke at hm.
den had to send abu at 830.
met shahrir again n off to cathey pr.
but boring story so we walk den took a bus to mr teh.
eat der so not sure wan to sahur or nt.
n i had hiccup.
so for every hiccup alternetly ill get a kiss den a punch.
haahaha.
but i guess wat stop de hiccup was tt shahrir making me laugh.

i kept having dreams about his ex.
wat does it mean?

2008-09-09T16:50:00.000+08:00

i must say ucrown is de shit.
its gd wen u need to destress n ofcoz better slp.

i need to start spending lesser den wat i earn.

tmrw will b de 1stday im gg to skol.
aft not gg for 2whole week.
i donoe wat came in to me.
i jus feel shity.
but i guess 2weeks is enuf.
so i must start catching up.
1mth tym to exam.
i wont wan to waste 30bucks jus to take sup ppr.
wat else remodule for 200buck.
dis remind me of 'o' jus tt i only hav 3mths to study.
not 5 or 4.

i wan to make my own pants n shirt.
mayb aft raye.